My kiss is like candy [entries|friends|calendar] candy_kiiss [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[01 Aug 2005|05:31pm] I know I've been mistaken But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made I've got some imperfections But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting I hope you're not intending To be so condescending it's as much as i can take and you're so independent you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting I've made a commitment I'm willing to bleed for you I needed fulfillment I found what I need in you Why can't you just forgive me I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting But you always find a way To keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting i love this song   im right here waiting 1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[01 Aug 2005|01:33am] [ mood | crushed ] eh.today was ok kinda boring but yet fun at the smae time...me alex and britt drove mary up to camp..long ride well another day spent thinking about him and wondering if todays the day..i guess not ...everyday that goes by i miss him more..and sometimes it would just be so much easier if i knew that he still loved me or if he misses me or even if he cares about me still....idk i love him more than anything and i want him to realize that we belong togther..{well atleast we do in my eyes} Rest in Peace Daryl Boddie Boddi3 is my hero i wish u were here PARTY IT UP!

[29 Jul 2005|12:59am] [ mood | crushed ] WHY DO I MISS DYLAN SO MUCH???     1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[27 Jul 2005|12:09pm] well i was just thinking of all the good times i ahve had wiht like one of the best people in the world...Jenn Sylvia   watching the sunrise on the beach ((my first sunrise)) throughing M&Ms and streeet lights(well trying and failing so throwing them at cars) sitting out by the pool in maine ...you- i love how my boobs are like hanging out of my bathing suit"me-"i dont" ..Lmao lucky 13* walking through the BK drive through sitting in the bath tub in maine talking for like an hour taking showers togther 12 scoop ice cream and pickles"are u guys pregant" Ditching the boys at BK staying up all night running in the sprinklers at Mcdys at like 2 in the am blow drying our pants in the singapore bathroom  spending like 2 weeks straight togther walking to cumbys at like 1 in the morning BK...so many good times all our great convos online the hour phone calls your great advice   and many many more   whoa jen i love u so much we need to have more good times 1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[27 Jul 2005|12:46am] [ mood | hopeful ] well i cnat sleep czuse there is alot on my mind so i figured id update my journal...it makes me feel better...even if noone reads it i get everything out... well mostly all i cna think about is Daryl Dylan Max and my grandfather   well for starters I miss Boddie so much and i still cnat accept the fact he is gone..i just want him to be like just kidding guys....everytime the phone rings i alwasy tell myself that its gonna be him calling  to tell me him and max are on there way bak...i need to stop thinking like this but with everything going on at the same time its harder...like wen i was crying at the carnival i just wanted him to be there to laugh at me and make me feel better....i miss and love you so much..DIFD <> *you dont realize wat you have til its gone <>  i cnat stop thinking about Max...i just feel so bad..max doesnt deserve this at all ..if anyone ever needed him max would be right there making them feel better....the whole ride up to the hospital the second time i felt like it was the hardest thing i was ever gonna  do ..to walk into the room and see my best friend who is like my brother laying in the hospitial bed in pain and he probally had one of the worst feelings inside...but wen i wnet into that room and max was smiling and laughing it made me feel 99999979734836752654754547857458746764 times better..and now i kno he was realy forcing it out to make his friends feel better cause he knew that evryone needed him {thats the kind of person he is he puts everyone before himself}......i just need to talk to him.. max makes me feel better bout everything nad hes always there for me i cna tell him anything and everything and he makes me feel better...so max if you read this i just want you to no that i love u and  i appericate everything you do for me and all the times you are here for me wen i need you...and i just want you to kno that if u ever need me or just want someone to talk to just call me .. <> i love you like a brother ...BFF <> on the other hand ive been doing alot of thinking about dylan and i kno that i need to get over him ..everyone has told me..but its so hard i love him so much and i just want him bak...i miss everything about him....and some people ask em why i like him so much or why i cnat get over him..this si why because dylan was there for me through everything nad through boddie dieing even tho it was proballi harder for him than it was me but he was still there to make sure i was ok and smiling..and on those days thats uked and i just wnated to be alone and cry he made me feel better .. and he may not realize it but he helped me thro my grandfather dieing he made all the hard times so much easier..adn i think he really loved em ...i was never so happy with anyone else and i really think eh showed me wat love is adn everyine can say oh your to young to know wat love is or watever the fuck they wanan say but just how i felt around him or wen i talked to him it was unbelievable..he was unbelievable...and i love talking to him but its just hard to tlk to him only as a friend and i try so hard not make him feel bad but i just cant help it i lve him so much ..everymorning i wake up nd wonder if today is gonna eb the day he asks me bak out .... i will never forget wen he first asked me out ..it was over the phone and brianna walsh was her and he asked me i covered the phone and was like screaming and jumping up and down..i was so happy and for those 6 months that we were togther i was always so happy and no matter wat he could make me feel better...and i hated the feeling i got inside if he was mad at me or if we were fighting or even if i was mad at him..and i loved the feeling i got wen he told me i was beautiful or perfect or evrn wen he tole me he loved me..well dylan if you read this cupcake i just want you to kno i love and miss yu so much adn i would give anything for u to hold me in ur arms and tell me you love me <>* if this isnt love can someone tell me wat is *<> that isnt all thats on my mind i also keep thinking about my granfather and i really do miss him...  i feel so bad for my dad cuz yesturday was his birthday and it must have suked to not have had his dad call him and say happy birthday..i cnat even imagine the feeling..but my papa really is in a better place i remember the last time i saw him i could see the suffering in his eyes and he was isck for along time but he still wanted to do everything for himslef ..we were having ice cream and he insisted on getting his owna dn he didnt want any help and i kno he is watching over me and he is happy now cuz he gets to be with my nana again so i guess its not so mucha  bad thing cuz he isnt suffering and he is happy but i miss and love him so much.. <> *Rest in Peace Papa* <>   2 will- PARTY IT UP!

[21 Jul 2005|12:29am] [ mood | hungry ] So today was a pretty good day..i didnt really do anythng i just sat home but its all good than i talked to dylan and took his myspace virginity..lol oh man ...well it was good cuz we talked and we r friends and i love it..well i dont kno wat else to write lol tommorow i a going to the movies ..well im gonna go ill write tommorow xox mnay kisses brianna I LOVE COMMENTS Rest in Peace Daryl Boddie ..i love nad miss you Boddi3 is my hero PARTY IT UP!

[20 Jul 2005|02:48am] well i was just going through all my past entries..and its so wierd to read ones about em and dylan breaking up than go down a lil more and read them about hanging ou with dylan or waiting for him to sign on..idk..well im not gonna lie i really do miss him but i think i ahve come to the stage where i feel i can get over him...i just want us to be friends..best friends if that possible..i dont know i just think that after 6 months.{that may not seem like a long time for some ppl but it was for me..it was like the best 6 months of my life}the least we can be is best friends...idk but its stll wierd..adn i think someone likes him{no names}and the fact of her liking him bothers me to bits and pieces..idk life is so hard sometimes..but as heather always says to me noone said it was easy..well i really dont kno wat else to write..well i do i could go on forever about this kid but seeing as its 4 im gonna go to bed.. Rest in Peace Daryl Paul Boddie I love and miss you Boddi3 is my hero <3 always many kisses brianna comments are always nice 1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[17 Jul 2005|05:06pm] [ mood | excited ] YEA so there is this kick ass chick named BARBZ and i love her so much     she is so much fun to hang out with     today im hanging out with BARBz and she is sleeping over..its ok i know your jealous PARTY IT UP!

[17 Jul 2005|05:02pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | oops i did it again ] I LOVE MEGGO   she is so awesome and is always there for me !!!!!!   I MISS HER SO MUCH PARTY IT UP!

[17 Jul 2005|12:04am] [ mood | confused ] well i havent updates in like a month and i kinda have a lot built up inside so i decied thath updating is agood way to get some of it out...so yea me and dylan arent going out anymore as everyone already knows and i have been trying so hard to get over him and accept the fact that we r just friends but i cant well....its so hard to see him and not have him all over me or be able to kiss him or anything and the thing that hurt the most was seeing him with another girl..like i litteraly felt like i was gonna throw up and it felt like he ripped my heart into pieces infront of my face..he doesnt understand how much i love him and i want him to realize everything we had i really think we were perfect for eachother ..well i have to stop writing about him cause im gonna cry...all i have to say is i miss himand love him so much... well a couple of weeks ago my uncle got into a motorcycle accident..it was the icing on the cake ..((and wen it happened i expected dylan to be there like he always was..(a shoulder for me to cry on)..and he wasnt so it made everything alot harder...i just needed him to be there .i needed a best friend))...well its ok now cause my uncle is out of the hospitial..actualli he got out today...i believe he got 8 broken bones..When you fall you are always suppose to get up no matter how bad it is   well anyways the past couple of days have been good on Thursday i slept over Barbz than friday we went to Heathers and hung out with Heather  Brie Ben and TJ...it was so much fun..than today me Heather Britt Noel Ryan and Bryan went to Dicks Last Resort in Boston it was so much funn...   Special thanks.... Heather ... well heather i love you so much you have been here for me through it all and even if you didnt know exactly wat i was atlking about you were still there and helped me through it..i love hanging out with you its so much fun Barbz....Whoa we have had some great times and you are always here i love you so much and you make me feel better about myslef and you take my mind of everything..you are so funny Jenn.....wowo i love you so much and you actualli kno wat im going through ..you are going thro it at the same time..and neither one of us deserve this...you really should be happy and not have to go thro anyof this and you give the best addvice..i kno it hard but u should follow your own addvice...no matter wat happens with between anyone nothing is gonna change Max..i love you like a brother...thank you max for always being there for me and helping me thro everything..you are such a good friend and everyone i so lucky to have you..you are my hro     Smile like you mean it!!     many kisses brianna LEAVE ME A COMMENT   Rest In Peace Boddie i love and miss you 4 will- PARTY IT UP!

[23 Jun 2005|11:49pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | We Belong Togther ....my song to Dylan ] well i havent updated in a long time .. wel me and dylan broke upa nd i feel like i will ever get over it.i miss him so much.Dylan showed me wat love is and i love him so much and i would do anything to have him bak ..well im falling apart ..its happening slowly but its happeneing and it makes it worse that dylan acts like im nto there like wen he gives everyone hugs he walks right by me amd its so much and so hard..he doesnt understand wat he is doing to me and how much i love him..he really is my evrything...we decied to be friends ut how can we be friends if he wont even talk to me..we were at shelbys party and i couldnt stop thinking about him and everyone was teling me to go talk to him btu i cant do it ..i see it as if he wants to talk to me hell come talk to me but ppl see he might see it like that to but i dont think he does.and it hurts me even more that it seems like he doesnt care how hurt i ma..this has been so hard and today was like the worst day..i kno i already said this all but i need to say it again i love and miss him so much.id give anything to have him bak.i cant say it enough n matter how hard i try i cant express my pain or how much i love him in words.well im going to try to go to sleep cuz im tired but i already now im not gona be able to fall asleep ... I LOVE HIM 1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[04 Jun 2005|05:03pm] [ mood | indescribable ] The past couple of days havent been that great Thursday- I had National Junior Honor Society it was okay besides the fact that my sister promised me shed be there and then she wasnt.Which really upset me because i go to everything of hers I really wanted to give her my flower.So on the way up to the car I cried than I can home and my mom gave me a book and its about some kid that died and its all poems and everone of them started out with if only I knew..so i sat on her bed and started to read and then i got to one that said ..If only I knew I was about to lose your smile I would thank you for all the joy you brought to my life.after i read that i just started crying so i just left the book on the bed and went in my room and cried than after i stopped crying i was going to finish my portfolio and i opened my porfolio and my first page is a letter in memory of daryl so i started crying again than i stopped and did some of my portfolio than Britt an dthem came so i wnet to bed and than i was going to finish my portfolio in the morning but than i just decied nnot to go to school so it was like 2 and i was up in my room sleeping and my mom calls me down and she told me that my grandfather died the day after mothersday and his service is on monday the 13th but my parents wanted to wait til i got bak from D.C to tell me after i found that out i didnt realli wanna do anything but my mom told me that he really is in a better place cause he was so sick and in so much pain that he wanted to die and hell be happy cause he gets to be with my grandmother taht died wen my dad was 16... so i decied that I couldnt shut down so that night i wnet to the carnival cause it was vanessas birthday I ahd fun i mostly hung otu with shelby and dylan.Than today in was suppose ti hang out with dylan but i guess im not so basically I've just been thinking the whole day and now im sitting here crying waiting for dylan to come bak well i dont kno wat else to write so i guess im just going to go for a walk just to get out of the house alone for a little while PARTY IT UP!

[22 May 2005|11:13am] [ mood | I just dont get it ] [ music | "Sonny" New found Glory ] Well its been a month a very long and hard month..i miss him so much.. yesturday i was on my way home from the Auburn mall and Dustin pointed out that we where right next to the cemetary so we went to see him ..i was really upset by the fact his name isnt on the stone yet and i flipped out cause there was a candy wraper where he was...you can see where he is cause there is a fresh peice of grass..it was just the wierdest feeling knowing i was standing over daryl..but i still dont believe its real..later that night it was like around 1:30 and it was like exactalli a month even the time and i just fell apart i was thinking about it all and i was thinking about the guys and i just started crying infront of my brother and his two friends and my mom and her friend but i couldnt help it i miss him and i still dont understand why..i really wish i could take it all bak but i kno i cant so im just going to try to be strong and know that daryl is watching over me R.I.P Daryl Boddie 89-05 i love dylan PARTY IT UP!

[19 May 2005|02:40pm] 01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you. 02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you. 03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be... 04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of. 07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 08. Put this in your journal 2 will- PARTY IT UP!

[19 May 2005|02:19pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Hear you me - Jimmy Eat World ] woot woot 25 days of school left...damn straight Im feeling alot better ..everything has been really really good...Im so hapy with dylan our relationship is awesome in my eyes ..he makes me so happy and i love him so much...i have the best times wen im with him even if we r just sitting there doning nothing well i dont kno wat else to write I love Dylan Haynes so much :o) many kisses Brianna 1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[15 May 2005|12:58am] [ mood | crushed ] well its around 2 in the a.m and ive been sitting here staring at my computer scren for almost an hour now hoping that dylan will sign on and i stare at the screen the only thing i can think about is how much i miss daryl...im thinking about all the great times weve had and how much of a great person he really was and every minute of everyday that goes by i miss him more ...but the scary part is im afraid it hasnt hit me yet..i still think we r gonna go hang out and daryl will be there like always ..i try to tell myself hes not gonna be but it all still seems like a dream...i never imagined anything like this and i feel like there is no one to talk to ...well there are people nd i kno that they will always be there but i dont wanna make them cry anymore i feel like everyones been through enough already ..and i kno things will never be the same again and im worried about it...i never realized how precious the times me and daryl had toghether were...i us2 always hear that looking bak on the laughs would make u cry and i never thought it was true until now wen im sitting here thinking about wen daryl wouldnt give me a hug cuz he said i had aids and the time we were at coreys and we where all sitting on the couch and max walks by and daryl wipes out his baton and smacked max in the bak of the leg with it and alex was like why did u do that and daryl was like idk he was just there and i cant help but cry...be4 all these times where was fun and i thought wed have many more fun times but now i think of them as precious memories...well now its around 2:15 and dylan finalli signed on so im going to even thought i could go on forever about Daryl R.I.P Daryl Boddie i love you Cherish the memeories i love dylan 1 will- PARTY IT UP!

[04 May 2005|02:15pm] [ music | Sonny by New Found Glory ] ...Bored Today.. School was actualli not that bad besides the fact it was a realli long day we where like 10 minutes into second period and i thought it ws like second to last peroid Last peroid max came ..he looks alot better than wen i went to see him...hmmwell idk wat else to write so ill write lata xoxo I love Dylan Haynes so much many kisses Brianna oh yea and tasha wants to fight molly haha thats great sorry but molly could kick her ass... PARTY IT UP!

[25 Apr 2005|04:15pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | Sonny by New Found Glory ] Rest In Peace Daryl Paul Boddie WE love you and miss you Im sorry* Dylan love you so much and im here for u no matter wat babe u mean the world to me and im so sorry DIFD PARTY IT UP!

[10 Apr 2005|09:21am] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Howie Day colliade ] Well i have updated in a while... Last night i went to the carnival with alex meg dylan max Daryl Brie Tj Nikki ..i thnk thats all i dont kno i didnt realli hang out with anyone besides alex meg and dylan..Daryl rode his bike to BK for me :)..it was fun . buut dylan wont get me a teddy bear :(...we i dont kno wat else to write... im going to go find plans for today My Birthday is tommorow :) many kisses Brianna xox I love Dylan Haynes PARTY IT UP!

[01 Apr 2005|03:52pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Hold you Down ] Today I didnt go to school..Dylan came over.(we babysat).. i had a good day tonight i think im going to the movies than tommorow i think im going to Boston yea boy well idk wat to write ill write later PARTY IT UP!

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